We went shopping for our bed today. At first, we were all right. We walk around the first floor then we went to the second floor. It was at this time that I realise that his mood is changing again. After the second floor, we go ahead and shop at the third floor. We saw three bed that we like.
We went back to the second storey where we thought that one of the bed that we like was at the second storey. We walked around and cannot find the shop. We finally ended up at the first storey where we found that shop and enquire about the bed. Then we went to another shop and enquire another bed, then another shop and enquire another bed.
After all that, we went to have our dinner. From this moment, we were very quiet and I dun dare to talk as usual as I notice something was wrong with my hubby. After our dinner, I asked if I can go to our new house and take the measurement. I think I make a mistake to ask. I could just do it anytime and go there by myself, but that was my house and I paid for it. Why am I asking permission if I can go a not?
He did not rejected me, although I wished he did. He drove me to the new house and throughout the whole journey, we just keep quiet. We measured our room and realise that our master bedroom was really too small. It do not have the space to put in a king size bed which my hubby wanted. We had a small discussion and my hubby finally said that I will make the decision. I will have to go and get the bed myself and I will have to choose the bed myself. Then he started hitting his own head with his hands.
I kept quiet. Finally, I walk out of the room and one of my cat wanted to go into the room. My hubby screamed at my cat and my cat dashed out of the room. I dunno what to do.
My hubby finally came out of the room and I told him that it is time for me to go back and I will go back myself. He insisted that he will drive me home. I still remember the reckless journey on our way here. He went into the kitchen, I dunno how many panadol he takes (he got a record of taking ten panadol at one time).
I think we got another reckless journey home, but I was home in a piece. At the same time, I was really worried about his saftely. If he continue to drive like that, I am scare that I might lost him one day. I do not want to nag at him for driving like that because he might screamed at me if I do that.
He just sms me to said sorry and he was very stress about his work. I sms him back that he is making me very worried about our married life and I really do not wish that he call me now. I dun want to speak to him now. I know that I will cry if I talk to him now. If my mum will to see me crying, she will be very worried about me.
I dunno if these are the signs to tell me not to get married to this man. I know that I am not having my PMS now so I am not emotional about the whole thing. I guess if I am having my PMS now or if I am pregnant now, my thinking might go very wild. I think I am starting to have cold feet about getting married.