since yesterday. I guess he is still mad at me.
I got so emotional this afternoon that I cried. I lay on my bed, hide my face in my pillow and cried so that my mum will not see. I managed to calm myself down and sleep for a while. When I woke up it is already 4:30pm. This is how I waste my whole Sunday afternoon.
Well, now that I am in a btter mood, maybe I can recall a bit what I was thinking at that moment.
I was surfing the internet then. I had promised myself not to touch the Singapore Brides forum and yet my itch hands click on the link. Worest of all, I found my previous posting in the Matter of the Heart. I read some of the posting on my thread and began to cry. At that time, I feel like copying the whole entire thread to this blog here. I dunno if I should do that a not. I feel like starting the thread alive again and tell everybody on the forum that I am still waiting to get married. At this time, I broke down. I saw the the date when I first posted was last year October.
I really feel like initating a divorce with my hubby at the point of crying. I felt that since we are not getting married, why not get a divorce and goes on with life. I dun have to hang myself half way in the air not knowing what is ahead.
I wanted to get my own house when if I divorce. However, I got to wait till I am 35 which mean another 5 years. Maybe I might get my own private apartment.
I am afraid to stay with my hubby too. He flare up easily and sometimes I dun not even know what has happen.