Something funny

Yes, I'll marry you, my dear,
And here's the reason why;
So I can push you out of bed
When the baby starts to cry,
And if we hear a knocking
And it's creepy and it's late,
I hand you the torch you see,
And you investigate.
Yes I'll marry you, my dear,
You may not apprehend it,
But when the tumble-drier goes
It's you that has to mend it,
You have to face the neighbour
Should our labrador attack him,
And if a drunkard fondles me
It's you that has to whack him.
Yes, I'll marry you,
You're virile and you're lean,
My house is like a pigsty
You can help to keep it clean.
That sexy little dinner
Which you served by candlelight,
As I do chipolatas,
You can cook it every night!
It's you who has to work the drill
and put up curtain track,
And when I've got PMT
it's you who gets the flak,
I do see great advantages,
But none of them for you,
And so before you see the light,
I do, I do, I do!

I can almost see my hubby laughing and clapping when I read this. I could hear him singing:
Yes, I'll marry you, my dear,
And here's the reason why;
You will be the one bearing my kids
and they will carry my surname.
You're virile and you're lean,
My house is like a pigsty
You can help to keep it clean.
My clothes need washing and ironing,
You will be the one doing it for free.
I do see great advantages,
But none of them for you,
And so before you see the light,
I do, I do, I do!

Well, I will be singing to him:
You will go out and work,
to earn the money for me to spend.
Muahahahahaha!