Some jokes to lighten your heart

Question: What's a mixed feeling?
Answer: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Question: Why is divorce so expensive?
Answer: Because it's worth it.

Question: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
Answer: 45 pounds.

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?" "Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress." "Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce!" "I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infiniti or Lexus in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours." Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife. "That's his mistress," says her husband. "Ours is prettier," she replies.

The above jokes are from Mind Diversion.

Grow Old with Me

Grow Old with Me, Smith-Haynes
12 in. x 12 in.
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