My hubby was very stress today

yet he felt guilty because I told him that I have got something to discuss with him and he has no time for me for two days.

I told him my plans on the DIY and AD photography. Upon listened to my planning, he flare up and begin reasoning. He asked me what happen if the AD photograper make a mistake with out photo and we cannot just do the wedding again. What if his relative start fighting in the middle of our dinner.

Then he begin to tell me his work stress. He told me that he do not want me to cut cost on our wedding. He said that if I wanted designer gowns, famous photographer or switzenland for our honeymoon, go ahead and plan. He said all I need is to tell him how much and give him some time and he will give me the money.

I think he has gone bonker. I told him that I am not helping him to cut cost. Instead I am trying to make everything worth the price that I am paying for. I tried to tell him that the omition of the Photoshoot is not trying to cut cost. I am trying to make my wedding album more meaningful instead of just posing behind a beautiful background. I am trying to tell him that the photoshooting session which everybody practice now is meaningless and is not worth paying the price and time for it. Moreover, if we really have to do the photoshooting, I will have not time for the gowns. He do not seems to let it. Arggggh!

Inside my heart I was thinking. Even if he wants me to have my dream wedding, I do not want to see him work so hard for the money, and spend it on a one day event and three months later, everybody forgot what I have wear. It is just not worth it. He thought otherwise. He told me that his uncle wife is now blaming his husband for not taking a photpshooting during their wedding. He do not want me to blame him later.

I kept crying for the whole conversation and I can see that he felt very stress when I cried. Stupid me! I just lost control with my eyes when I got emotional. Sometime, I wish I could drain out all my tears in my eyes and never to cry again. I hate to cry because it makes me feel weak.