Match Your Lingerie To Your Gown
Lacy, beautiful and feminine, lingerie should be one of the most exciting parts of your wedding day ensemble. After all, the right underpinnings can whittle your figure, lift your bust and enhance the line and fit of your wedding dress. But many brides don't know what pieces work best for their figure. With the expert advice of Jeanie Peterson, owner of the Sol Bride Catalog and Solbride.com, we'll help you select the bridal lingerie that makes the most of your figure -- and your gown. http://wedding.weddingchannel.com/solbride/sol_article01.asp
A Wife's Diary vs Husband's Diary
WIFE's DIARY
Sunday night - I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.
Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.
On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love u, too." When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV; he seemed distant and absent.
Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.
My life is a disaster.
HUSBAND's DIARY
Today Manchester United lost the match. DAMN IT..!!
Sunday night - I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.
Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.
On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love u, too." When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV; he seemed distant and absent.
Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.
My life is a disaster.
HUSBAND's DIARY
Today Manchester United lost the match. DAMN IT..!!
 |
USA Bride
Another great resources for wedding from USA. http://www.usabride.com It has a big list of articles on wedding that you cannot miss. http://www.usabride.com/easy_in.html
Bridal Hairstyles
Help! I can't decide on a hairstyle...
Ok, so choosing a hairstyle for your wedding day isn't exactly rocket science, so why is it soooooo difficult?! You want to look like you just stepped out of Hello magazine, but need a little bit of help. Well you may have come to the right place.... http://www.movingmakeup.co.uk/hair.htm
Ok, so choosing a hairstyle for your wedding day isn't exactly rocket science, so why is it soooooo difficult?! You want to look like you just stepped out of Hello magazine, but need a little bit of help. Well you may have come to the right place.... http://www.movingmakeup.co.uk/hair.htm
Singapore girls - a challenge to love
Star, Malaysia
February 13, 2005
Insight Down South By Seah Chiang Nee
EDUCATED and financially independent, the new Singaporean woman is running into a wall of male traditions that is leaving some holes in their relationship, including marriage.
The trend had been building up over a couple of decades. In few other countries have women made larger strides in education and careers than in Singapore.
During the past few decades they have caught up with, and even overtaken, men in fields they had once dominated.
In university, women still outnumber men 55-45 with many moving strongly into subjects like media, mathematics, law and engineering, among others.
Recently girls won seven of the top 11 awards for A-level Physics, which had long been a boys’ domain.
Island-wide, women have moved into the highest ranks of the corporate world and commanded artillery units or police divisions, as well as trained jetfighter pilots. Ten women, aged 20-40, are planning to climb Mount Everest.
In short, the new female is able, confident and more than holding up half the heavens, but not getting equal success in their relationship with men.
This is running smack into a traditional male value of wanting to be seen wearing the pants, causing a growing "incompatibility".
Better education has also led to the woman being perceived as too ambitious, self-centred and materialistic, not qualities that promote romance.
As a consequence, more men are choosing their brides from abroad, especially from China, Vietnam and most of all Malaysia, where historical links remain strong.
I attended five weddings in the last eight months that reflected the trend.
Four of the brides were from Malaysia and China and only one was local. I was told this was becoming a trend that government matchmakers have failed to correct.
One groom with a Johor bride said he had found Singaporean girls too materialistic and demanding. "One specifically set a condition: no living with my parents. She wasn’t happy dating on public buses."
The women’s relentless pursuit of a career had come at the expense of learning to do simple household chores like cooking, ironing or looking after babies.
"If you want to marry a Singapore girl you must be prepared to eat at hawker centres for life," one male cynic said.
A marriage agency owner told a radio interviewer how some of the girls had, on the first date, plied the men with questions like: What is your degree and earnings? Do you own a condo? "And they’re surprised when they didn’t get a second date," she said.
Others find them picky, untrusting and calculative towards love and marriage.
Results of recently released research have found that one in five Singaporean wives is hiding her assets from her husband for fear that he will squander them or in case the marriage fails.
This 20% here compares with France (7.2%), USA (7.6%), Brazil (9%), Romania (12%) and Britain (16.8%).
But there are more hoarders in Japan (38%), Saudi Arabia (32%) and China (21%).
It doesn’t inspire trust. Another sign is the increasing number of cases when a private detective is hired to check on the spouse.
Pre-marital contracts are also becoming more common among people who want to keep their assets out of their spouse’s reach in any divorce. Almost six out of 10 women say in a survey that they are not submissive, while two-thirds believe they could live without men.
The changing female attitude is, of course, only half the cause.
The other is the man sticking to a traditional view that it is his right as head to leave the babies and household work to his working wife. One in two women here have a job.
The social impact is a growing number of single women, especially university graduates.
A growing minority is marrying Westerners.
This has prompted a newspaper reader to urge her well-educated peers to revisit some the traditional feminine traits.
Her letter followed reports that more Singaporeans, including young professional males, were turning abroad for brides.
She said she had worked in Vietnam and found the girls there feminine, their speech melodious.
"They work hard without complaining, carrying loads of cloth and vegetables in the market stalls and food places. Simple, gentle and hardworking, it's hard not to fall in love with them," she added.
As for the Malaysian ladies, she finds them "neither loud nor argumentative, (but) pander to the boys' needs. Not as doormats, but as cheerful assistants, who see it as their obligation to help their men without expecting anything in return.
"Not that they are stupid - oh, no, the Malaysian girls I know are smart and hardworking, with careers of their own."
"But when it comes to matters of the heart, they play the docile, giggly girlfriend with as much aplomb as their Vietnamese counterparts. Again, it's easy to see where their attraction lies."
In contrast, the Singapore girl is twice as likely as her Malaysian or Vietnamese counterpart to stride away in a huff or throw water in the male's face or hold a public screaming or crying fit.
"The Singapore girl debates and argues impassionedly. She wants to win at all costs and treats her love conquests like those fought in the office arena. She may be pretty, yes, smart, yes, but, oh, so demanding."
The Singapore girl, in short, is a challenge to love, she added.
Although she may, at the end of the day, be a supportive and faithful spouse, the barbs hiding her soft interior are daunting to the suitor.
"She is materialistic, and loves being so. Shopping is a major hobby, and looking good is absolutely essential. The man is but another accessory, a helper, chauffeur, bag carrier."
There are, however, some 200,000 men who have a poor education and a low salary. Their prospect of marrying a Singapore girl is slim.
One emotional man said online: "I’m fed up with life. Can’t even find a date let alone a wife." For him and the rest, salvation lies in Vietnam or China.
Seah Chiang Nee is a veteran journalist and editor of the information website littlespeck.com
If you manage to read up to this paragraph, I will like to let you know that I have cut and paste this article from one of the forum. Comments are welcome.
February 13, 2005
Insight Down South By Seah Chiang Nee
EDUCATED and financially independent, the new Singaporean woman is running into a wall of male traditions that is leaving some holes in their relationship, including marriage.
The trend had been building up over a couple of decades. In few other countries have women made larger strides in education and careers than in Singapore.
During the past few decades they have caught up with, and even overtaken, men in fields they had once dominated.
In university, women still outnumber men 55-45 with many moving strongly into subjects like media, mathematics, law and engineering, among others.
Recently girls won seven of the top 11 awards for A-level Physics, which had long been a boys’ domain.
Island-wide, women have moved into the highest ranks of the corporate world and commanded artillery units or police divisions, as well as trained jetfighter pilots. Ten women, aged 20-40, are planning to climb Mount Everest.
In short, the new female is able, confident and more than holding up half the heavens, but not getting equal success in their relationship with men.
This is running smack into a traditional male value of wanting to be seen wearing the pants, causing a growing "incompatibility".
Better education has also led to the woman being perceived as too ambitious, self-centred and materialistic, not qualities that promote romance.
As a consequence, more men are choosing their brides from abroad, especially from China, Vietnam and most of all Malaysia, where historical links remain strong.
I attended five weddings in the last eight months that reflected the trend.
Four of the brides were from Malaysia and China and only one was local. I was told this was becoming a trend that government matchmakers have failed to correct.
One groom with a Johor bride said he had found Singaporean girls too materialistic and demanding. "One specifically set a condition: no living with my parents. She wasn’t happy dating on public buses."
The women’s relentless pursuit of a career had come at the expense of learning to do simple household chores like cooking, ironing or looking after babies.
"If you want to marry a Singapore girl you must be prepared to eat at hawker centres for life," one male cynic said.
A marriage agency owner told a radio interviewer how some of the girls had, on the first date, plied the men with questions like: What is your degree and earnings? Do you own a condo? "And they’re surprised when they didn’t get a second date," she said.
Others find them picky, untrusting and calculative towards love and marriage.
Results of recently released research have found that one in five Singaporean wives is hiding her assets from her husband for fear that he will squander them or in case the marriage fails.
This 20% here compares with France (7.2%), USA (7.6%), Brazil (9%), Romania (12%) and Britain (16.8%).
But there are more hoarders in Japan (38%), Saudi Arabia (32%) and China (21%).
It doesn’t inspire trust. Another sign is the increasing number of cases when a private detective is hired to check on the spouse.
Pre-marital contracts are also becoming more common among people who want to keep their assets out of their spouse’s reach in any divorce. Almost six out of 10 women say in a survey that they are not submissive, while two-thirds believe they could live without men.
The changing female attitude is, of course, only half the cause.
The other is the man sticking to a traditional view that it is his right as head to leave the babies and household work to his working wife. One in two women here have a job.
The social impact is a growing number of single women, especially university graduates.
A growing minority is marrying Westerners.
This has prompted a newspaper reader to urge her well-educated peers to revisit some the traditional feminine traits.
Her letter followed reports that more Singaporeans, including young professional males, were turning abroad for brides.
She said she had worked in Vietnam and found the girls there feminine, their speech melodious.
"They work hard without complaining, carrying loads of cloth and vegetables in the market stalls and food places. Simple, gentle and hardworking, it's hard not to fall in love with them," she added.
As for the Malaysian ladies, she finds them "neither loud nor argumentative, (but) pander to the boys' needs. Not as doormats, but as cheerful assistants, who see it as their obligation to help their men without expecting anything in return.
"Not that they are stupid - oh, no, the Malaysian girls I know are smart and hardworking, with careers of their own."
"But when it comes to matters of the heart, they play the docile, giggly girlfriend with as much aplomb as their Vietnamese counterparts. Again, it's easy to see where their attraction lies."
In contrast, the Singapore girl is twice as likely as her Malaysian or Vietnamese counterpart to stride away in a huff or throw water in the male's face or hold a public screaming or crying fit.
"The Singapore girl debates and argues impassionedly. She wants to win at all costs and treats her love conquests like those fought in the office arena. She may be pretty, yes, smart, yes, but, oh, so demanding."
The Singapore girl, in short, is a challenge to love, she added.
Although she may, at the end of the day, be a supportive and faithful spouse, the barbs hiding her soft interior are daunting to the suitor.
"She is materialistic, and loves being so. Shopping is a major hobby, and looking good is absolutely essential. The man is but another accessory, a helper, chauffeur, bag carrier."
There are, however, some 200,000 men who have a poor education and a low salary. Their prospect of marrying a Singapore girl is slim.
One emotional man said online: "I’m fed up with life. Can’t even find a date let alone a wife." For him and the rest, salvation lies in Vietnam or China.
Seah Chiang Nee is a veteran journalist and editor of the information website littlespeck.com
If you manage to read up to this paragraph, I will like to let you know that I have cut and paste this article from one of the forum. Comments are welcome.
Just like Mama!
Men
He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
My biscuits were too hard...
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
As I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and smacked him...
Like his Mother used to do.
- Author Unknown
He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
My biscuits were too hard...
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
As I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and smacked him...
Like his Mother used to do.
- Author Unknown
Seal the Deal and Make Him Commit
Found this article in my documents. I think it has appear in Female or Her World magazine. It is actually the summary of a book named "The rules"
Seal the Deal and Make Him Commit
BY ELLEN FEIN AND SHERRIE SCHNEIDER
Getting the man you want to propose -- and then turning that proposal into an actual wedding date -- can be a tougher deal to close than a media merger. Of course, if you've been following The Rules (the set of dating guidelines outlined in our book, The Rules: Time Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right, Warner Books, 1995) from the moment you met Mr. Right and he's said he loves you, he will propose -- sometimes in a matter of a few months but usually within 15 months. (He may have his own rules about dating for four seasons before popping the question, and there's nothing wrong with that.)
Don't Break These Rules
Following The Rules means letting him pursue you -- not seeing him more than two or three times a week, refusing to go away with him on weeklong vacations, and not moving in with him or crowding him in any way. If you've done all these things, you've actually helped him fall in love with you and want to marry you. He wants more of you, not less. And you will sense his desire to include you in his world. Within a year, if not sooner, he's figured out that he not only wants to marry you but has to marry you to see you more often, to really have you.
Your problem at this point is not if he's going to marry you but when. Men can happily date, commitment-free, for years! They are notorious for wanting to put off the actual engagement part until later. If he suggests living together first to see if you get along, tell him you're old-fashioned and want to wait until you're engaged or married.
Rules of Engagement
If he hasn't asked you to marry him within a year -- or two at the most -- you might have to shake things up a little bit. Go away for a weekend with a girlfriend, cancel a Saturday-night date, get very busy at work, mention that you are renewing your apartment lease, or be mysterious about some of the things you do. All of the above should make him anxious to propose. A man who is wary of commitment is made less wary by a woman moving away from, not toward, commitment. This isn't trickery. You're just giving him the space he needs. And if this doesn't work?
Ask him what his intentions are. If he says he has no plans to marry you, say okay and then never see him again. Men don't lie about things like this. He's not scared of commitment -- he doesn't want to marry you.
If he says he does plan to marry you someday, but he's not ready yet, then it's up to you to close the deal. Ask him when -- and if it's more than a year away, see less of him and think about dating others. You've already spent more than a year waiting for him to propose. Do you have another year to wait?
If you are already living together and he says he doesn't want to become engaged, make plans to move out. But don't say, "I'm moving out because you won't commit." Just say that you need more space and you heard about a great apartment. When a man doesn't want to commit and you do, leave him alone. If he doesn't try to get you back with a proposal, don't waste your time. If he asks what's going on, nonchalantly answer, "I don't know if this relationship is for me." If he can live without you, you don't want him. Move on.
Dignity-Saving Don'ts
Here are five things not to do if he says he doesn't want to marry you, no matter how tempting.
1. Don't tell him you're hurt or mad, and don't reprimand him for leading you on. You stayed with him -- take responsibility for your actions. And if you've been living with him, you allowed him to be with you indefinitely without making a commitment.
2. Don't suggest going to couples therapy to discuss why he can't commit. Men can and do commit when they love you and when you maintain your identity and self-esteem in the relationship. But they can become commitment-phobic when a woman has pursued them, is too available, or they're just not in love with her.
3. Don't let your man brainwash you into thinking that marriage isn't important - "just a piece of paper." If he does not want to marry you, then he's not that in love with you -- he wants the option of meeting someone else!
4. Don't let a man convince you that because he's been married before, he can't marry you or that you should give him time to recover from wife No. 1 or 2.
5. Don't let a man you have been dating for years convince you to wait until "things slow down" at work or he's better off financially to make a commitment. There will always be work and money issues in life. They should have nothing to do with marrying you.
When a man loves you and wants to marry you, he gets down on bended knee and says something like, "Look, I know I'm not a millionaire, but I love you and I'd do anything for you."
Be Willing to Walk
You've seen it happen: A man will date a woman for five years, claiming he has commitment issues, but after breaking up with her, he marries someone else in six months. If a man truly is in love with you, and your actions (not your words) tell him that you won't wait around forever, his commitment issues will disappear and he will propose.
If you are involved with a man for several years who isn't proposing, how much longer are you willing to wait? When a man knows that you will accept less than marriage, he is not motivated to commit himself fully. You must be willing to walk away.
Assuming you are engaged, how do you actually motivate him to take the walk down the aisle? Becoming engaged is no guarantee of marriage, so don't get lax about The Rules. Don't talk to him on the phone for hours every night -- and it's still best not to move in together. Engagements can be broken and wedding dates never set. Better he should miss you and move up the wedding date than feel claustrophobic as you take over his closet space.
Danger Signals
Be on the alert for any excuses your fianc--e might make or situations that might delay the marriage, such as:
1. He thinks being engaged is great, so why rush into marriage?
2. He's been married before, it was a disaster, and he's not anxious to tie the knot again. He gave you the ring so he doesn't lose you (so you won't sleep with anyone else), but he's happy with the way things are.
3. He's young and still likes to go out with his friends and doesn't want to be tied down. Although you convinced him to become engaged, you can't pin him down to a wedding date.
4. You were already living together when you got engaged, but you still don't have a wedding date set. What to do? In general, it's better to set a wedding date when you get engaged or soon after. Your engagement should last a year or less. If you're under 25, a two-year engagement is fine. If the engagement is dragging on, you may want to think about giving him back the ring and moving on. Perhaps he's not Mr. Right. Don't waste your time.
When Not to Close the Deal
Perhaps you're the one having second thoughts. He's proposed, but something just doesn't feel right, and you're thinking about breaking it off. What should you do? If you've thought about it carefully and discussed your decision with a therapist, good friends, or family members, we suggest that you always trust your instincts. Do not close the deal.
Don't feel silly, embarrassed, or guilty. Don't hate yourself or feel like a failure. Ending a relationship that isn't right is a learning and growing experience. Besides, you're not the first woman to change her mind or cancel a wedding. It happens. You tried, it didn't work out. Better to find out and disentangle yourself now than later.
After you've made up your mind, give yourself permission to grieve. Who wouldn't be upset? But don't give up on love or throw yourself in front of a bus. Keep the faith. You're a winner for being honest with yourself! Your real Mr. Right may be just around the corner, and when you meet him, you won't regret your breakups!
Seal the Deal and Make Him Commit
BY ELLEN FEIN AND SHERRIE SCHNEIDER
Getting the man you want to propose -- and then turning that proposal into an actual wedding date -- can be a tougher deal to close than a media merger. Of course, if you've been following The Rules (the set of dating guidelines outlined in our book, The Rules: Time Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right, Warner Books, 1995) from the moment you met Mr. Right and he's said he loves you, he will propose -- sometimes in a matter of a few months but usually within 15 months. (He may have his own rules about dating for four seasons before popping the question, and there's nothing wrong with that.)
Don't Break These Rules
Following The Rules means letting him pursue you -- not seeing him more than two or three times a week, refusing to go away with him on weeklong vacations, and not moving in with him or crowding him in any way. If you've done all these things, you've actually helped him fall in love with you and want to marry you. He wants more of you, not less. And you will sense his desire to include you in his world. Within a year, if not sooner, he's figured out that he not only wants to marry you but has to marry you to see you more often, to really have you.
Your problem at this point is not if he's going to marry you but when. Men can happily date, commitment-free, for years! They are notorious for wanting to put off the actual engagement part until later. If he suggests living together first to see if you get along, tell him you're old-fashioned and want to wait until you're engaged or married.
Rules of Engagement
If he hasn't asked you to marry him within a year -- or two at the most -- you might have to shake things up a little bit. Go away for a weekend with a girlfriend, cancel a Saturday-night date, get very busy at work, mention that you are renewing your apartment lease, or be mysterious about some of the things you do. All of the above should make him anxious to propose. A man who is wary of commitment is made less wary by a woman moving away from, not toward, commitment. This isn't trickery. You're just giving him the space he needs. And if this doesn't work?
Ask him what his intentions are. If he says he has no plans to marry you, say okay and then never see him again. Men don't lie about things like this. He's not scared of commitment -- he doesn't want to marry you.
If he says he does plan to marry you someday, but he's not ready yet, then it's up to you to close the deal. Ask him when -- and if it's more than a year away, see less of him and think about dating others. You've already spent more than a year waiting for him to propose. Do you have another year to wait?
If you are already living together and he says he doesn't want to become engaged, make plans to move out. But don't say, "I'm moving out because you won't commit." Just say that you need more space and you heard about a great apartment. When a man doesn't want to commit and you do, leave him alone. If he doesn't try to get you back with a proposal, don't waste your time. If he asks what's going on, nonchalantly answer, "I don't know if this relationship is for me." If he can live without you, you don't want him. Move on.
Dignity-Saving Don'ts
Here are five things not to do if he says he doesn't want to marry you, no matter how tempting.
1. Don't tell him you're hurt or mad, and don't reprimand him for leading you on. You stayed with him -- take responsibility for your actions. And if you've been living with him, you allowed him to be with you indefinitely without making a commitment.
2. Don't suggest going to couples therapy to discuss why he can't commit. Men can and do commit when they love you and when you maintain your identity and self-esteem in the relationship. But they can become commitment-phobic when a woman has pursued them, is too available, or they're just not in love with her.
3. Don't let your man brainwash you into thinking that marriage isn't important - "just a piece of paper." If he does not want to marry you, then he's not that in love with you -- he wants the option of meeting someone else!
4. Don't let a man convince you that because he's been married before, he can't marry you or that you should give him time to recover from wife No. 1 or 2.
5. Don't let a man you have been dating for years convince you to wait until "things slow down" at work or he's better off financially to make a commitment. There will always be work and money issues in life. They should have nothing to do with marrying you.
When a man loves you and wants to marry you, he gets down on bended knee and says something like, "Look, I know I'm not a millionaire, but I love you and I'd do anything for you."
Be Willing to Walk
You've seen it happen: A man will date a woman for five years, claiming he has commitment issues, but after breaking up with her, he marries someone else in six months. If a man truly is in love with you, and your actions (not your words) tell him that you won't wait around forever, his commitment issues will disappear and he will propose.
If you are involved with a man for several years who isn't proposing, how much longer are you willing to wait? When a man knows that you will accept less than marriage, he is not motivated to commit himself fully. You must be willing to walk away.
Assuming you are engaged, how do you actually motivate him to take the walk down the aisle? Becoming engaged is no guarantee of marriage, so don't get lax about The Rules. Don't talk to him on the phone for hours every night -- and it's still best not to move in together. Engagements can be broken and wedding dates never set. Better he should miss you and move up the wedding date than feel claustrophobic as you take over his closet space.
Danger Signals
Be on the alert for any excuses your fianc--e might make or situations that might delay the marriage, such as:
1. He thinks being engaged is great, so why rush into marriage?
2. He's been married before, it was a disaster, and he's not anxious to tie the knot again. He gave you the ring so he doesn't lose you (so you won't sleep with anyone else), but he's happy with the way things are.
3. He's young and still likes to go out with his friends and doesn't want to be tied down. Although you convinced him to become engaged, you can't pin him down to a wedding date.
4. You were already living together when you got engaged, but you still don't have a wedding date set. What to do? In general, it's better to set a wedding date when you get engaged or soon after. Your engagement should last a year or less. If you're under 25, a two-year engagement is fine. If the engagement is dragging on, you may want to think about giving him back the ring and moving on. Perhaps he's not Mr. Right. Don't waste your time.
When Not to Close the Deal
Perhaps you're the one having second thoughts. He's proposed, but something just doesn't feel right, and you're thinking about breaking it off. What should you do? If you've thought about it carefully and discussed your decision with a therapist, good friends, or family members, we suggest that you always trust your instincts. Do not close the deal.
Don't feel silly, embarrassed, or guilty. Don't hate yourself or feel like a failure. Ending a relationship that isn't right is a learning and growing experience. Besides, you're not the first woman to change her mind or cancel a wedding. It happens. You tried, it didn't work out. Better to find out and disentangle yourself now than later.
After you've made up your mind, give yourself permission to grieve. Who wouldn't be upset? But don't give up on love or throw yourself in front of a bus. Keep the faith. You're a winner for being honest with yourself! Your real Mr. Right may be just around the corner, and when you meet him, you won't regret your breakups!
M&M Chocolate As Your Wedding Flavour?
http://shop.mms.com/customized/printing/step1.asp#Now you can print your very own messages on M&M'S Milk Chocolate Candies and package them in creative ways! You may want to consider using them as your wedding flavour and print thank you messages on each chocolate for your guest.
Get Him to Commit
Get Him to Commit
REPORTED BY MARY K. MOORE
Sick of having to force him to have the where-is-this-relationship-going talk? Cosmo's traitor to the male species, Greg Gutfeld, reveals how to make him beg for a status report.
When it comes to discussing the future, men can yak up a storm -- but only if the topics are limited to our careers, sports, or the new kung-fu flick we want to go see this weekend. Shift the focus to relationships, and all speech function grinds to a halt. The throat gets parched. Dizziness ensues. We men start loosening our collars: Is it just me, or is it always this hot in here?
Now, the following strategies for getting him to bring up the subject all entail risk: Having The Talk, no matter who initiates it, might either scare him off or cause him to give you an answer you don't want to hear ("I don't want a commitment, but I'd love to continue having sex with you. Okay?"). But come on. You don't want to spend the rest of your life pining for some guy who thinks you're great to share a burger and a bed with but little else, right? The risk is generally worth taking.
Talk Tip 1
Take up extreme sports. Do that, and he may think he's losing you. The point here isn't so much that you risk your life but that you actually create more of a life outside his orbit. Canceling a date because you want to make him jealous is lame, but canceling a date because, hey, you've got your karate classes tonight and your flying lessons tomorrow, is sort of cool. Once there's something competing for your attention, he begins to wonder how much he really matters in your life scheme. All you're doing is filling up your time with cool stuff he might like to do, but you're not including him. He's got to wonder if you're drifting away, and in order to lay claim reasonably to more of your time, he'll have to be explicit about how much time he wants. In other words, he'll have to bring up The Talk.
Risk factor: Low, with regard to losing him; high, when it comes to your own personal safety, especially if you choose a hobby known for producing fatalities. (Hint: No guy -- no matter how great -- is worth scaling Everest for.)
Talk Tip 2
Take a vacation. Jetting off with nothing but a bikini and the promise of a postcard gives him a small taste of life minus you. Plus, the freedom to flirt when you're ostensibly single cuts both ways, and if he's into you, that'll stick in his craw. "When my girlfriend told me she was going on a cruise with three of her friends, I figured, cool -- three weeks of bachelor days ahead," says Todd James* (names have been changed), a 29-year-old New York City public-relations executive. But then he saw how excited she was about the trip. "She kept talking about how they were going to get crazy -- and two of her friends didn't have boyfriends. I doubted Amy was going to sit on the boat drinking pina coladas alone while they hit the town." Long story short: The night before she left, he initiated The Talk. "It was sort of a preemptive strike. I didn't want her to cheat on me," he said. "But it also made me think about losing her, and how I knew those three weeks would be pretty lonely. I did enough running around in college."
Risk factor: Medium to high. If he's a jerk, he may look at this as an opportunity for some bed-hopping, single-guy abandon. He may find he likes it better when you're not around and move to make it a permanent condition. If that happens, he's not worth the price of your return ticket. Besides, if you haven't had The Talk, no one's stopping you from staying on an extra week and having that little vacation fling with a lusty young cabana boy. If that's what you want, go for it.
Talk Tip 3
Act as if you've already had The Talk. In other words, take liberties. Adopt the role of the one and only girlfriend, fiancee, or whatever relationship status you aspire to. With our notorious lack of short-term memory, your guy may assume you two have already had The Talk, but he may not remember exactly when.
So, pick up groceries for him; ask him to do the same. Call him at work and say, "Sorry to bother you, but on the way home, could you buy some cream cheese, light bulbs, and some of those panty liners with wings?" You accomplish two things swiftly: Even if you live in two separate apartments, you've established that there is a "home" to go to (if he doesn't balk at your plea, consider that acceptance), and you've gotten him to share the shopping. Not too shabby.
Risk factor: High. If you're lucky, he might settle into his new cozy life without even noticing it. Or he might feel things are going too fast and say to you, "Jeez, I feel whipped," which is at least the start of something resembling The Talk, right? You can take it from there.
Talk Tip 4
Go out with your pal "Rocco." Men have a problem with so-called guy friends, men with whom women claim to have platonic relationships. In fact, I use the term so-called because guys don't believe there is such a thing as a guy friend, especially when it comes to a girlfriend they care about. That's because they know how they themselves think. They know straight men pony up to women to get laid, not to talk about feelings. Trust me, if your guy isn't a complete idiot, he will definitely feel threatened by your buddy Rocco.
Immediately, Rocco will be the most interesting individual on the planet. Your man will want to know why he's hanging around you. He'll want to know why you're hanging around him. He'll get jealous - we're all good at that -- and soon, he'll demand to meet him. All the while, you should act surprised by your guy's uncharacteristically possessive behavior and, if you like, even a little indignant. But if he feels threatened by another bear in his lair, then he's already aware he has a lot to lose. You're halfway there, and this little trick might get him to defend his turf.
Risk factor: High if Rocco doesn't exist. Wouldn't it be humiliating if your man decided to confront your imaginary friend? And if he does exist and your guy doesn't care, well, you've got to move on to a better strategy. Like, say, dumping him and dating Rocco.
Talk Tip 5
Make a major independent financial decision. Talk about buying a car, a plot of land, a house, or maybe a Cessna. The reason: You're making him aware that you don't need him to move your life forward. And if he asks you why you didn't consult him first about the decision, jokingly say, "It's not like we're married!" He'll have to respond with a request for clarification of exactly what he is to you, if he's going to have any say in your financial matters. That sounds like the start of The Talk.
If you don't have a bundle of green, just fake it. That's what glossy brochures for fancy summer homes and luxury automobiles are for. Simply leave them out on the coffee table (strewn over the remote) to let him know you're making big decisions he isn't privy to. Cool.
Risk factor: Low. The brochures won't scare him off, they will only make him feel a little left out. That's good.
Talk Tip 6
Ask him if he's ever been to Guam. Or New Mexico. Or Phoenix. "I hear they have giant lizards there," you might say, toying with your pasta. "I'd like to live where there are giant lizards." By contemplating a big move -- to another city, country, or hell, another apartment (and out of your shared bedroom) -- you show him you're antsy with the current setup. "We were talking about my job, and I told him I wasn't seeing a future here. He suggested sending resumes around town," says Jenna McCoy, 28, an accountant for a Philadelphia law firm. "He didn't get the hint. So I told him I needed to make a larger change, like maybe to another city, because I was stagnating. The first thing out of his mouth was 'Is it me?'"
"Maybe," you can reply. "I'm not sure." The point is to get him to argue about why it would be foolish for you to bail, or at least right now. This is, of course, when he must talk The Talk. If he doesn't, then you've got your answer.
Risk factor: High. He may call your bluff and say, "See, ya!" Then you will have to move on. No, not to Guam. Just out of his life. Or he may call your bluff and want to join you. The upside: You'll have to have The Talk before you move together to the land of lizards. The downside: You'll have to move to the land of lizards.
Talk Tip 7
Lastly, buy him a compass. Literally pick up a compass at a camping store, and attach a note that reads, "When you figure out where you're going, let me know. I may be here, but I may not. Love, (insert your name here)."
Risk factor: Sky high, but last resorts work because by the time you use them, you've had enough of the clueless bastard. If he walks, he walks, and then you're free to find someone who can talk The Talk.
REPORTED BY MARY K. MOORE
Sick of having to force him to have the where-is-this-relationship-going talk? Cosmo's traitor to the male species, Greg Gutfeld, reveals how to make him beg for a status report.
When it comes to discussing the future, men can yak up a storm -- but only if the topics are limited to our careers, sports, or the new kung-fu flick we want to go see this weekend. Shift the focus to relationships, and all speech function grinds to a halt. The throat gets parched. Dizziness ensues. We men start loosening our collars: Is it just me, or is it always this hot in here?
Now, the following strategies for getting him to bring up the subject all entail risk: Having The Talk, no matter who initiates it, might either scare him off or cause him to give you an answer you don't want to hear ("I don't want a commitment, but I'd love to continue having sex with you. Okay?"). But come on. You don't want to spend the rest of your life pining for some guy who thinks you're great to share a burger and a bed with but little else, right? The risk is generally worth taking.
Talk Tip 1
Take up extreme sports. Do that, and he may think he's losing you. The point here isn't so much that you risk your life but that you actually create more of a life outside his orbit. Canceling a date because you want to make him jealous is lame, but canceling a date because, hey, you've got your karate classes tonight and your flying lessons tomorrow, is sort of cool. Once there's something competing for your attention, he begins to wonder how much he really matters in your life scheme. All you're doing is filling up your time with cool stuff he might like to do, but you're not including him. He's got to wonder if you're drifting away, and in order to lay claim reasonably to more of your time, he'll have to be explicit about how much time he wants. In other words, he'll have to bring up The Talk.
Risk factor: Low, with regard to losing him; high, when it comes to your own personal safety, especially if you choose a hobby known for producing fatalities. (Hint: No guy -- no matter how great -- is worth scaling Everest for.)
Talk Tip 2
Take a vacation. Jetting off with nothing but a bikini and the promise of a postcard gives him a small taste of life minus you. Plus, the freedom to flirt when you're ostensibly single cuts both ways, and if he's into you, that'll stick in his craw. "When my girlfriend told me she was going on a cruise with three of her friends, I figured, cool -- three weeks of bachelor days ahead," says Todd James* (names have been changed), a 29-year-old New York City public-relations executive. But then he saw how excited she was about the trip. "She kept talking about how they were going to get crazy -- and two of her friends didn't have boyfriends. I doubted Amy was going to sit on the boat drinking pina coladas alone while they hit the town." Long story short: The night before she left, he initiated The Talk. "It was sort of a preemptive strike. I didn't want her to cheat on me," he said. "But it also made me think about losing her, and how I knew those three weeks would be pretty lonely. I did enough running around in college."
Risk factor: Medium to high. If he's a jerk, he may look at this as an opportunity for some bed-hopping, single-guy abandon. He may find he likes it better when you're not around and move to make it a permanent condition. If that happens, he's not worth the price of your return ticket. Besides, if you haven't had The Talk, no one's stopping you from staying on an extra week and having that little vacation fling with a lusty young cabana boy. If that's what you want, go for it.
Talk Tip 3
Act as if you've already had The Talk. In other words, take liberties. Adopt the role of the one and only girlfriend, fiancee, or whatever relationship status you aspire to. With our notorious lack of short-term memory, your guy may assume you two have already had The Talk, but he may not remember exactly when.
So, pick up groceries for him; ask him to do the same. Call him at work and say, "Sorry to bother you, but on the way home, could you buy some cream cheese, light bulbs, and some of those panty liners with wings?" You accomplish two things swiftly: Even if you live in two separate apartments, you've established that there is a "home" to go to (if he doesn't balk at your plea, consider that acceptance), and you've gotten him to share the shopping. Not too shabby.
Risk factor: High. If you're lucky, he might settle into his new cozy life without even noticing it. Or he might feel things are going too fast and say to you, "Jeez, I feel whipped," which is at least the start of something resembling The Talk, right? You can take it from there.
Talk Tip 4
Go out with your pal "Rocco." Men have a problem with so-called guy friends, men with whom women claim to have platonic relationships. In fact, I use the term so-called because guys don't believe there is such a thing as a guy friend, especially when it comes to a girlfriend they care about. That's because they know how they themselves think. They know straight men pony up to women to get laid, not to talk about feelings. Trust me, if your guy isn't a complete idiot, he will definitely feel threatened by your buddy Rocco.
Immediately, Rocco will be the most interesting individual on the planet. Your man will want to know why he's hanging around you. He'll want to know why you're hanging around him. He'll get jealous - we're all good at that -- and soon, he'll demand to meet him. All the while, you should act surprised by your guy's uncharacteristically possessive behavior and, if you like, even a little indignant. But if he feels threatened by another bear in his lair, then he's already aware he has a lot to lose. You're halfway there, and this little trick might get him to defend his turf.
Risk factor: High if Rocco doesn't exist. Wouldn't it be humiliating if your man decided to confront your imaginary friend? And if he does exist and your guy doesn't care, well, you've got to move on to a better strategy. Like, say, dumping him and dating Rocco.
Talk Tip 5
Make a major independent financial decision. Talk about buying a car, a plot of land, a house, or maybe a Cessna. The reason: You're making him aware that you don't need him to move your life forward. And if he asks you why you didn't consult him first about the decision, jokingly say, "It's not like we're married!" He'll have to respond with a request for clarification of exactly what he is to you, if he's going to have any say in your financial matters. That sounds like the start of The Talk.
If you don't have a bundle of green, just fake it. That's what glossy brochures for fancy summer homes and luxury automobiles are for. Simply leave them out on the coffee table (strewn over the remote) to let him know you're making big decisions he isn't privy to. Cool.
Risk factor: Low. The brochures won't scare him off, they will only make him feel a little left out. That's good.
Talk Tip 6
Ask him if he's ever been to Guam. Or New Mexico. Or Phoenix. "I hear they have giant lizards there," you might say, toying with your pasta. "I'd like to live where there are giant lizards." By contemplating a big move -- to another city, country, or hell, another apartment (and out of your shared bedroom) -- you show him you're antsy with the current setup. "We were talking about my job, and I told him I wasn't seeing a future here. He suggested sending resumes around town," says Jenna McCoy, 28, an accountant for a Philadelphia law firm. "He didn't get the hint. So I told him I needed to make a larger change, like maybe to another city, because I was stagnating. The first thing out of his mouth was 'Is it me?'"
"Maybe," you can reply. "I'm not sure." The point is to get him to argue about why it would be foolish for you to bail, or at least right now. This is, of course, when he must talk The Talk. If he doesn't, then you've got your answer.
Risk factor: High. He may call your bluff and say, "See, ya!" Then you will have to move on. No, not to Guam. Just out of his life. Or he may call your bluff and want to join you. The upside: You'll have to have The Talk before you move together to the land of lizards. The downside: You'll have to move to the land of lizards.
Talk Tip 7
Lastly, buy him a compass. Literally pick up a compass at a camping store, and attach a note that reads, "When you figure out where you're going, let me know. I may be here, but I may not. Love, (insert your name here)."
Risk factor: Sky high, but last resorts work because by the time you use them, you've had enough of the clueless bastard. If he walks, he walks, and then you're free to find someone who can talk The Talk.
Another Well Known Florist
While packing all my stuffs, I found a name card which my evening gown designer give it to me. It was a florist name card and I remember that my designer said that they were quite well known in Singapore. He was suggesting that I sign up with them for my wedding flowers and decoration. http://www.duetforte.com I shall put up their link on the right hand corner of this page for your easy access.
Affair
My hubby just told me that one of his good friend is having an affair with a married woman. His friend said that he is using the affair to reduce the stress he is suffering at work. I told him that that was crap.
They were married for around two years and their daughter is almost two. His friend said that he has got no feeling on his wife anymore. While my hubby was telling me the story, he kept saying that his friend is stupid and should not even be in an affair.
His friend told his wife that he will be staying over my hubby house the day before my wedding day. He then go to Malaysia with the girl and come back to Singapore in the afternoon on my wedding day. His wife got suspicious, check his passport and called my hubby. She asked my hubby if her husband stay over at my house the night before our wedding day. My hubby said "yes" but she told my hubby not to lie, she has checked his passport. My hubby then keep quiet.
I asked my hubby. If I grow fat one day like my mother in-law, will he still have feeling for me. My hubby laughed at me and said that I will not grow to be very fat. He added that the most I will have a tummy. But what if I really grow fat?
My hubby told me that we cannot blamed the affair on his friend only. It takes two hands to clap. His wife is a workaholi, she comes back from work everyday at 1 to 2am. They will bring their daughter to the grandmother place before going to work and everyday his friend will fetch his daughter back home. It was also his friend that do all the baby sitting. Frankly speaking, I think that these are all craps. I believe that my hubby friend will not said that the affair is his fault. He is too egoistic to admit that he is wrong.
So for the last few days, my hubby has been accompany this friend of his. They went to pub on weekends and come back only in the morning, leaving me sleeping alone. My hubby said that he dun think that they will divorce.
I think I will not know what to do if this type of things happen to me. It is easy to tell others to get a divorce and get a better life, but when this type of things happen to myself, I think I will only know how to cry my heart out. I am a cry baby.
They were married for around two years and their daughter is almost two. His friend said that he has got no feeling on his wife anymore. While my hubby was telling me the story, he kept saying that his friend is stupid and should not even be in an affair.
His friend told his wife that he will be staying over my hubby house the day before my wedding day. He then go to Malaysia with the girl and come back to Singapore in the afternoon on my wedding day. His wife got suspicious, check his passport and called my hubby. She asked my hubby if her husband stay over at my house the night before our wedding day. My hubby said "yes" but she told my hubby not to lie, she has checked his passport. My hubby then keep quiet.
I asked my hubby. If I grow fat one day like my mother in-law, will he still have feeling for me. My hubby laughed at me and said that I will not grow to be very fat. He added that the most I will have a tummy. But what if I really grow fat?
My hubby told me that we cannot blamed the affair on his friend only. It takes two hands to clap. His wife is a workaholi, she comes back from work everyday at 1 to 2am. They will bring their daughter to the grandmother place before going to work and everyday his friend will fetch his daughter back home. It was also his friend that do all the baby sitting. Frankly speaking, I think that these are all craps. I believe that my hubby friend will not said that the affair is his fault. He is too egoistic to admit that he is wrong.
So for the last few days, my hubby has been accompany this friend of his. They went to pub on weekends and come back only in the morning, leaving me sleeping alone. My hubby said that he dun think that they will divorce.
I think I will not know what to do if this type of things happen to me. It is easy to tell others to get a divorce and get a better life, but when this type of things happen to myself, I think I will only know how to cry my heart out. I am a cry baby.
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